A life less lived

I've been searching for something lately and I just realized what. The people I am acquainted with here are small minded. I don't claim to be a genius or superior in anyway..... Let me explain. I spent all day in the hospital Tuesday while Aiden was poked, sedated probed etc. Watching sick kids walking past, seeing parents wringing there hands waiting to hear about the status of their child in surgery. Wednesday the parents I most associate with from Autumns dance class just made me feel like an alien from a foreign planet. I have known them for three years and I guess this was just the last pickle in the jar I needed to make me lose it. One mom was ranting and raving about a clerk at the coffee shop. She was on her feet pacing,redfaced, waving her hands in the dance studio because the coffee girl forgot to punch her coffee card for a free coffee. The other moms joined in to the freak show egging her on about a free cup of coffee that was due. I sat there wondering how she would cope with a child with a disability, how she would handle all the doctor visits and therapy sessions. How would she have handled her seven month old baby laying in a hospital bed after open heart surgery? A Free Coffee? That is what she was up in arms about. I sat there and watched the show. Sad that this was the fight she found so important to fight. How my life has changed. Nothing else is that important. The health and happiness of my kids, my relationship with my husband, my parents . These are the things worth fighting the fight for. All else seems small and silly. I don't think I would be this aware or awake without a child with Williams. It really did change me to the core. Two weeks ago I had a heart to heart with a grocery store check out woman. An older woman I see in the store often. She was so upset and complaining loudly because her last customer told her how to bag the groceries. Are you kidding me. Well I listened as long as I could and then as it approached my turn at the register i explained that other people should not upset her like that. Not to let this ruin her day and to think of the things she is grateful for. I then told her about Aiden and our journey with WS and heart surgery. Her jaw dropped, her eyes glassed over and she said you are right. I shouldn't let something like that get to me. I don't really know why I chose to tell her our story . I guess I just found the issue so silly. Wake up lady, there are much worse things in life. I feel the need to find a grounded friend. My two best friends live an hour and one and a half hours away. We talk on the phone but don't have that daily support. Maybe I'm still in a state of depression or is it enlightenment? What would Buddah do? I'm still reeling with the idea of my mother going in for cancer surgery. That will be my Tuesday this week. I wish fighting about a punched coffee cup was the highlight of my week. Silly silly ladies. I find myself joining in less on the conversations because it is harder and harder to feign interest. For now they serve a purpose, I go out to dinners, my kids go to their kids parties and it is at the very least topic for a very long blog.