A life less lived

With one day left of summer vacation my brain keeps reviewing the days gone by and reeling over Autumn starting kindergarten. I was up all last night. Where have the past five years gone? I remember so clearly watching her crawl, taking her out for walks in her stroller and dropping her off at my Mom's while I went off to work. I always packed all her bottles and meals to take to grandma's house. I remember crying all the way to work for weeks when I had to go back full time. Now I feel like the next twenty years she will be in school . Kind of going through separation anxiety all over again. She is excited and a bit nervous. I know she will do great. I look back on the past two years with everything Aiden has been through and I hope I have met all of Autumn's needs as well. Poor kid is still attention starved and jealous of Aiden and his therapists. As much as I know I have given her 100% I guess there is always that mother's guilt having a special needs baby. All the stays at the hospital and overnight trips with him to specialists. Now she will be in school all day. On to the next step of the motherhood journey. Sad today but I'm sure by next week I'll have adjusted.